Crying Cow

January 31, 2008

I just saw a video on labeled "Cows Abused at Slaughterhouse," does that strike anyone else as being a bit odd? If someone is actually complaining about cows being Sad Clarabelle Cowabused at a slaughterhouse they need to stop and look at the bigger picture. The cow is on it’s way to being cut up for you to eat, if you’re worried about the abuse it’s going through before it dies then maybe you shouldn’t be eating beef at all. That’s assuming that the person who wrote the title does in fact eat beef.

Okay I take ALL of that back. I just watched the video and it is one of the saddest things I’ve ever seen. This poor cow has fallen and this evil bastard of a man keeps poking it in the neck with an electric cow prod, which is hurting the cow and causing it to make these sad crying cow wails. I’m not going to eat beef anymore. Let’s see how long I can do that. Poor cow :'(


Things I Am Currently Loving

January 30, 2008

Seth Rudetsky and his hilarious deconstructions of iconic broadway performances. I think I’m more enamored with his voice and mannerisms more than anything, because if anyone else were presenting the material I’d probably hate it. And kudos to Jamie for introducing me to Seth’s videos.

MarthaMartha Wainwright, her voice, and the incredible song that is Bloody Mother Fucking Asshole. Nothing can beat a song with lyrics such as "poetry is no place for a heart that’s a whore." Plus I adore the fact that she’s Rufus’s sister, so she’s actually sort of like my sister-in-law.

NatashaNatasha Bedingfield and her new cd Pocketful of Sunshine. Thought I at first despised it, after a few listens I began to love five of the twelve songs. So, a bit of information for anyone looking to purchase the cd, save some money and just get the following songs: Happy, Angel, Love Like This, Piece of Your Heart, and Soulmate.

LibertyLiberty Tax Service and their mascots who should be given hazard pay for having to brave the fiercest nastiest weather conditions that Michigan can throw at them. Here’s a picture of one mascot fortunate enough not to be in Michigan, now just picture her covered from head to toe in freezing rain.

And Natalie Dee and her Dangery Fish. Her Sun Maid is pretty damn good too.

Danger Fish

Go With The Floater. . . Again

January 29, 2008

On Friday I got my eyes checked out and it turns out that nothing can be done for the floater, the doctor said it’s due to inconsistenciesFloater in the fluid of the eye and that what I’m seeing is actually a shadow that the inconsistency is casting onto my retina (or something like that). The only thing to be done now is to hope that it settles into a corner of the eye that I don’t use on a regular basis. Though he did also mention that if I find myself seeing more floaters or flashes of light that I should get it checked out immediately (this is because these are signs that my retina is detaching and would end with me being blind). Fun Stuff!

It’s Sew Time

January 27, 2008

I just recently began my catching up in Season 4 of Project Runway, so I feel the need to make some comments on this years contestants, well the ones that interest me at least.

ElisaFirst up is Elisa Jimenez. Elisa is effing crazy, what with the “spit marking” of her clothing so that it’s imbibed with her spirit and such. But for some reason most of her clothing works and looks quite nice.

ChristianNext is Christian Siriano who annoys the living shit out of me. I swear if I hear that boy say “fierce” or “feroche” one more time I will go crazy. Plus he’s much too in love with himself. Underneath all that there has got to be just one big ball of self-consciousness going on.

StevenMy favorite designer of all, Steven Rosengard, is third. He’s so damn cute that I can hardly stand it, I even love how he squints. Plus I like his little catch phrase, “Sweet Merciful Crap.” I love you, Steven!

Sweet PFollowing Steven is Sweet P, who is the sweetest little lady ever. At first I wasn’t sure I liked her because of her odd name and all of her tattooes, but she’s incredible and hates hurting anyone’s feelings. I sort of hope she wins, just for being nice.

RickyAnd since I’m already tired of typing all this I’m going to end with Ricky Lizalde because I find it hysterical that he cries at least once in every single episode, without fail. God love ya, Ricky.


January 24, 2008

As most of you more than likely know, Flight of the Conchords is the best band/show ever. They specialize in “digi-folk” tunes constructed of clever and often hilarious lyrics and on top of that they’re both pretty adorable (I tend to favor JermaineJemaine). If you haven’t checked out the show or their music then you definitely should, and if that crap rundown of them wasn’t enough then here are some of my favorite lyrics/quotes from them.

You’re so beautiful. . . like a tree. . . or a high class prostitute.

(referring to a robot costume)
What are these?
Those are your function buttons.
They look like nipples.

Why are we still paying so much for sneakers when you got little slave kids making them?

Oh, you’re from New Zealand! I hear it’s beautiful. There’s vikings there, right?

Braff Is A Bitch

January 23, 2008

I don’t see what the big deal is about "Juno." Yes, it is funny, but not funnier than any other movie and yes it is does pluck at the heartstrings,Juno CD but again not much more than any other movie would. To me (and my friend Jamie as well) it felt as if "Juno" was trying much too hard to be hip and cool by not being hip and cool.

The soundtrack to the movie is the thing that stands out the most to me, I think that it sucks, but for some reason everyone is going ape-shit over it. Jamie says that it’s the hipster crowd that worships Zach Braff. I hate Zach Braff and I hate the soundtrack to Juno, so I’m pretty sure I’m not a hipster and that I may hate them.

PS – I still miss Heath Ledger.

Heath Ledger 1979-2008

January 22, 2008

Heath LedgerEveryone who is reading this probably already knows that Heath Ledger was found dead today in Mary-Kate Olsen’s a Manhattan apartment. Right now authorities are saying it looks like he may have overdosed on over-the-counter sleeping pills, who knows. Sounds like it may have been an accident to me. This makes me really sad. First Brad Renfro, now Heath Ledger. All of you know how obsessed I am with his upcoming role as The Joker in The Dark Knight. I hope when the movie comes out that Christopher Nolan has "in memory of" somewhere in the credits. I miss Heath. This is like my generation’s version of River Phoenix.

PS – I’m not pointing any fingers, but maybe Mary-Kate was jealous of Heath’s stardom and poisoned him with an arsenic laced cupcake.

UPDATE – It wasn’t Mary-Kate’s apartment so she’s off the hook. . . for now.