Old Lady Names

July 29, 2008

Some of the best names I’ve ever come across are those of old ladies, and by "best" I mean most hilarious.  Which is why I now present to you the ten best old lady names I’ve ever encountered.

1. Beulah
2. Eunice
3. Esther
4. Estelle
5. Opal
6. Doris
7. Gertrude
8. Agnes
9. Mabel
10. Edna

If I ever have a daughter I think I may name her Agnes, cuz it’s hilarious and yet somewhat endearing.

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ManSpanx

July 26, 2008

Spanx are/is the most awesome invention that i have ever had the fortune of laying eyes upon.

For those of you who don’t already know, Spanx is a brand of hosiery/undergarments made for women that discretely shape the body.  In essence Spanx is the girdle for the 21st century.

Here’s the "Spanx Effect"


Before                               After

I bring Spanx up because I think that there should be a male line of Spanx, perhaps called ManSpanx.  The creators of Spanx probably don’t think this is very profitable because the stereotypical male doesn’t give a shit about slimming down.  But if the Spanx people were to target the GAY male then I think that ManSpanx would take off like a rocket.

Maybe call them GaySpanx or HomoSpanx?

Think it over, Spanx people, think it over.


My Thoughts So Far . . .

July 25, 2008

Here are some of my thoughts on a few of the designers in the fifth season of Project Runway.

Stephen "Suede" Baum
In his own words "Suede is a bisexual sagitarius" who likes to talk about himself in the third person and annoy the blue blazes out of me.  That’s right, Blue Blazes!  He does have a unique vision though, I’ll give him that.

Wesley Nault
Wesley Nault is my crush of the season.  I hope that he doesn’t get kicked off anytime soon because I love him and love to look at him.  At this point in the season he’s quite quiet and introverted, which is awesome, quiet guys are the balls.

Blayne Walsh
Blayne is trying to hop onto Christian’s catchphrase train with a catchphrase of his own, "Licious."  It’s not much of one and every time he uses it I want to rupture an eardrum.  Please stop with the "Licious," Blayne, I’m trying to like you!

Kelli Martin
Kelli is so damn cute and has very creative ideas.  She won the first challenge and I look forward to seeing many more of her designs.  I’d be her best friend in a second.

Update: Wesley was kicked off in Episode 2.  I am sad.  Wesley you’re adorable.  Now my season crush is going to have to be Daniel Feld.  So, Daniel, please don’t get kicked off.  And maybe cut your hair a little.


The Wild Zebra

July 24, 2008

While at work today I said something that surprised me in its oddness.

"Would you like whipped cream on that Zebra?"

Now let me explain by saying that at work we have a drink called "The Wild Zebra."  Silly name, I know.  Anyway, a woman ordered a Skim Wild Zebra, so, since she ordered a skim I thought I’d ask if she still wanted whipped cream on the drink.

Yeah, it makes sense when given context, but it still feels really weird to say.


Where’s My Weeds?

July 23, 2008

Though WEEDS still makes me giggle with girlish delight I can’t help but notice that lately the plot has been getting weirder and weirder. The limbs on the plot tree that the show keeps going out on are getting ever more flimsy and frail. These limbs are also beginning to look like previous limbs.

Every season, without fail, Nancy has some type of love interest.  Every season Silas has some type of love interest.  Every season Andy gets into some type of silly shenanigan.  And every season weed becomes less and less of the show.

But like i said, though I still giggle at WEEDS, it’s just not what it once was.  Which makes me sad.


So Worth It

July 18, 2008

Having just seen The Dark Knight I can say with 100% conviction that it is totally worth the money to see it in theatres.  I wouldn’t even be averse to paying the money to see it again in theatres.  And when it comes out on DVD I’ll totally be buying that bitch.

Heath Ledger definitely stole the show as the Joker.  Every scene he was in was awesome.  One of my favorite scenes involving the Joker would have to be when he addresses the mob bosses (his disappearing pencil trick is both hilarious and horrifying).

Aaron Eckhart does a nice job of portraying Harvey Dent and Maggie Gyllenhaal fit nicely into the shoes that Katie Holmes left behind.

In terms of a rating I give The Dark Knight 5 out of 5 stars.  Prior to seeing it I would’ve given Batman Begins 5 out of 5, but after tonight it’s getting knocked down to 4.  The Dark Knight definitely blows its predecessor out of the water.  One of the rare exceptions to the rule when it comes to sequels.


Only 7.5 Hours

July 17, 2008

In less than seven and a half hours I will be on my way to a movie that I’ve been looking forward to seeing for a year. Did that sentence sound odd? I think it did. Anyway. Tonight I’m going to see The Dark Knight and I am quite the excited individual. Hopefully I’m not setting myself up for disappointment.

I’ll let you know what I think when I get back.  Have a GRAND Thursday!